How not to enter the downward spiral after a mistake
Did you ever have one of those games, when you had the first action – mistake, uff. You try not to panic. You have the second action – mistake again. You try harder not to panic. It’s your turn serving/throwing/catching – you act, already with a bad feeling – giving an easy ball to the opponent and bringing your team in a bad situation. You start thinking „This might not be my day “. Still - trying not to panic, trying to convince yourself that everything’s going to be awesome and at the same time not believing your own self talk and actually collapsing mentally from the inside. The downward spiral is in full motion, you get subbed, feel helpless and are convinced, that you just not have that level, are not enough and will never be on the court again.
While this text could also be about how to handle defeat and come back stronger (maybe the next time), let’s address the root of the problem. Which is managing the feelings and mindset after the first mistake, you’ve made or right when you feel that mental block arising.
How beautiful would it be to notice that feeling of being stuck and just letting it go. Let the past be past, knowing that there is no way to change it, and coming back with a fresh mind, gaining full control over the situation, ready to go all-in for your team, for yourself and for the win,– because deep down there, you love that game and want to show what you’re made of.
The bad news is, there is no way around that feeling of being stuck, of not being enough or of weakness. There is no way not to feel it, pretending nothing happened. You’re asking what other way you can go, that is not down the spiral? The way to success goes straight through.
Is that a surprise to you? Let me explain it step by step:
1. Let’s pretend: You’re making a mistake and feeling bad about it. What you usually do is, you ignore that by telling yourself, aww, was just the first ball or claiming a bad setting. Instead - allow yourself to feel that little sensation of uncomfortableness.
2. Remind yourself that feelings, thoughts and sensations are always rising and changing, pleasant as well as unpleasant ones. This is part of the human experience – the only way they get stuck is, when they are not being seen, ignored and amplified by the attempt to control them.
3. Now comes the tricky part: Accept the feeling. Nope, it’s not impossible. Some athletes mix it up with, ignoring the feeling – which actually is the opposite. But I do agree on the point, that there is a fine line between those two. You can think about acceptance, like saying to that feeling „Hi, welcome, thank you for arising, showing me that I’m alive and human “.
4. Come back to the present moment, your breath might help you on that, because it’s always in the now and always available.
5. Ask yourself the question: What’s important now?
6. Act accordingly and play the game you want to play 😉
To put it in a nutshell: the next time when you feel blocked and feel the mental downward spiral appear. Notice that, no reason to run away, to fear or ignore that. Come back to the sensation of your body, feel it what needs to be felt and let it be there. Acceptance is key. Then come back to the present moment with your own strategies and run the show.
A “mistake” in thinking you might have, good performance does NOT necessarily need good feelings and thoughts. The struggle appears through the (impossible) try to control or ignore the feeling. If you once learned how to experience whatever sensations comes up and still perform at your best – what could stop you? Nothing. Your performance will stabilize and you’ll start to feel comfort in the uncomforting.
If you are interested in learning more of that, don’t hesitate to contact me and schedule you’re free call with me right now.
Love and light,
Berit